Its been quite a while I shared my state,So just wanted to put this up in a slightly clear way, in order to gain more clarity,peace and relaxation!
Have you ever been so unsure of yourself? I mean a state where you are constantly swinging between your own personalities! Ya Might seem strange, but I am having super mood swings these days,I am not even sure of my own self, someday I feel I am extremely happy,other I am very neutral and irritated .Someday I am friendly,someday I like to be held by just my own aura. I want to be with myself, no questions,no suggestions, no arguments !
Its not like that I don't want a friendly gesture,love or support. Its just that I feel complete with myself.
Honestly, I have no energy for the temporary people,I never had.And I am the worst in getting to know people.I can offer my true and x-rayed version to the person of my contact,even if they are just testing waters or are not sure of the longevity of the bond.I am hopeless True with my self,and same version I can offer.I am not that version of human species that can change its color like a chameleon! I am brutally honest,even if the victim is no one else but me.I have the Guts to shoot my own head if I truly realise I am the person who did wrong.Yes,I am that true to myself.And I am not getting my expections to peak but I prefer same to company me.I don't believe in manipulation with my relations and work.I believe integrity to one's own self is the highest virtue.I give all of me with no mix of salt in it! But As I say I am brutally honest so trust me ,you will not hear sugar coated words,As I call a spade ,a spade !
Yes,I am now a little cautious now in my life,As I believe my life to be beautiful, and by no means I was ever a pessimist! I might be in a state when I am over-thinking,but that's quite okay,as its just because I am not smart enough with the playing games or treating people in a way that I never myself to be treated.So I am just keeping a distance,that might seem that I have gone bonkers,but I can't help it! Its just that: I think,I am just too real for this world,or maybe very true and genuine that I hurt myself in the process.Though I understand that people hurt others,to just heal themselves, maybe they are so burnt by the flames of the world that by any means they want to make their situation Merry that they end up hurting other soul,Even I get rude sometimes, when I feel bad,we all get in that state! Don't we?
Hence,I urge this universe,my infinite self the almighty to make this world little more kind and act real,the way it should be! Genuine, respectful, full of immense love! I have No power and understanding to make myself understand what's true and what's not! I can't! I really have got lots to do in my life ,but I get easily effected by the mishappening,And like really hard and I can't pretend ,I show what I feel, I can't speak a lie and play it cool.I just don't want to hurt the good souls in the process,but the bottom line is I don't know where these good souls are? Are they disguised as angels or they are demons inside the soul right in front of me,I really don't know! I just know three things-Unconditional love,Forgiveness and Gratitude!
I Request my higher self to maintain my peace so as I don't lose my cool and end up creating walls around me for the good souls in my life!
Bless me with good vibes!
Love ya!
Godbls!
Preksha
