Chaotic Obsession !!!

Have you Ever Been so chaotic that the world around you seems to Get chaotic every now and Then? And Yet you Happen to find beautiful Things amongst it and also you end up Getting obsessed about it!
Is it bad? Or Is it a Sound thing among the chaos?
Honestly, I think I am very much aware of My Every cell! I feel that it is Sound ,As I  am well aware of my "Every Single cell". So Here I am not Showing that I am smart enough of my existence but I am Pretty sure of Myself! Yes I am. For instance, I know I make really long sentences and convey my feelings in hyper explanation that I don't really like,I feel its kind of Mess Doing This way but See I am doing that Inspite of knowing This. Its kind of chaos in writing, but still I do it! Even I am made that way,that I think its Beautiful! And See How I am boasting of Myself .I am even not Guilty for that,Instead I am obsessed about My Chaos . I believe Its Beautiful !! Although, For Some Living Beings It Might Be Weird ! I mean If I Frankly State then I am Pretty Much sure It is Weird, As People around Me and Associated with me Make me understand That I Might be Psychotic! And Trust Me I am not ashamed of that Too, I Think Being Chaotic Is Weirdly Beautiful!
Here, I am Telling you About My Dream that's Really weird! I mean as I am not a Dream Interpreter So I Think It to be weird! - " I saw That I have Just Reached to Faculty Room of My College and I see my Old College Friends Sitting there on Stairs and I quietly Stand at one Corner(I look same as I Look Now ,As I Saw my Reflection In the Glass) But I see A Girl Standing Right in Front of My eyes  And that Is Girl Is My Old self(As I use to Look Before, while I was in College) .I Ask my Old Self that- "Jump Down from here ,I ask her Again and Again that Jump Right down from here but My Old Self is quiet and smiling,She is Not jumping down! Although back in my mind I am scared as I know if she jumps, I will Die as its Me who I am asking to Jump down But Still I say to her Again and Again , She is not  Moving a Single inch!
Though the Height was not much,It was just first floor where we were Standing But I Must Say This Dream clearly Says I am chaotic! Or Maybe psychotic ! Anyway, I Still Conclude My Dreams To be beautiful and Myself to Be Chaotic Beautiful ! And Undoubtedly I am obsessed about my Chaos,As I Still not want Myself To be Any other way! I am Proud to be Beautiful This way!
Not Today,And Definitely Not tomorrow I will Change My Vision- The Things That I am Learning being in Chaos, I would have never learnt any other way! I am insanely Crazy with the Definition I am Going to Give my Life! Trust Me That will Surpass all the Chaotic bridges My Future Self will come Across with!
Hold on Tight your Racing Breath,You Might Not be Able to Catch-up with My Steering wheel that's Controlling The Left corner of My System!
Breathe ! Let Go ! Catch Up !
Love ya!
Godbls!
Preksha*